Befriending Emotions – you can’t think your way to wellbeing
Over the course of 2018 – 2019, I was so in my head, it was ridiculous. I knew something was wrong, but I fought so hard to push that thought away, in denial for far too long. I was stressed and chronically tense, always thinking about work and procedures, before, during and after. Day in day out, week in week out, I could feel this high bar that I had to aim for and hit every single time, and it was exhausting. It was a hamster wheel that I couldn’t get off.
I didn’t want to outwardly complain, reasoning with myself that I had chosen this path, that I’d invested time and effort to be here, that I had an enviable career, that there were so many benefits and therefore I had no right to even admit that I was struggling.
So how would I resolve this issue? As usual, relying on my logic and intellect. Surely, I could think my way out of this situation. I’d sit with my colleagues to work through things, and we’d come up with solutions such as working part time, changing workplaces, and further studies. That last one sounded great; if I delve deeper into an area I enjoy and learn more about it, I’ll re-ignite my passion for dentistry and be less stressed. All will be well.
Turns out, that wasn’t the solution. The truth is at this point, I was so in my head and disconnected from my body, I was racing off to some unknown destination without a map.
Emotions are data
Emotions carry information from our body to our brains, telling us what’s going on in our internal and external environments. They are fast, fluid, and dynamic, and when we learn to accurately read our emotions, we can harness all the information they’re trying to tell us.
Stress indicates our capacity to cope is being reached.
Anxiety indicates our need for control.
Disappointment indicates an unmet expectation.
Envy indicates an area of desire.
Anger indicates a crossed boundary or violated value.
If I had known back then what I know now, I would have realised that my body was sending me a tonne of alarm signals, crying out for attention and reflection. I would have understood that exhaustion was asking me to rest, worry was asking me to stay present, frustration was asking me to speak up, and confliction was asking me to reflect on my values.
We work with data every single day, through the myriad of assessments to reach a diagnosis for our patients. We’d never perform treatment without all the correct information, so let’s apply that same principle to ourselves, so that we’re taking the necessary, and importantly, the correct actions to move forward.
Increasing positive emotions for wellbeing
As a highly intelligent and driven group of people, dental clinicians have no trouble playing in the realm of problem-solving, critical thinking, and goal-setting, but when you add precision and perfectionism into the equation, it can quickly become a cesspool of stress, tension, and negativity, not only for yourself but for those around you.
I encourage you to welcome more positive emotions into your day, such as gratitude, joy, appreciation, calm, fulfillment, enthusiasm, and inspiration. And don’t let them pass too quickly. See if you can stretch them out and savour them; your wellbeing will thank you for it.
If that doesn’t convince you, consider the research by Barbara Fredrickson that shows a 3:1 ratio of positive to negative emotions was found in people with high levels of wellbeing. This might be the perfect time to give your thinking brain a rest, get in touch with your feelings, and add emotional intelligence to your wellbeing toolkit.
“Feelings are like waves, we can’t stop them from coming, but we can choose which ones to surf” – Jonatan Martensson
