Work-life balance

For many people, their identity is strongly tied to the work that they do, and self-worth is tied to work-related achievement. This is particularly so for people with perfectionist tendencies, who have succeeded throughout their life. The consequence is an insatiable drive to continue to succeed, because that is essential to their self-esteem loop. But is that sustainable?

TIME + ENERGY + RESOURCES = WHAT NEEDS TO GET DONE

This is a simple model for productivity. For any given task to get done, we need sufficient inputs of time, energy and resources. If any of those are out of balance – if we don’t have enough time to complete a task – then that can be a cause of stress. Now think about all of the things that need to get done at home too. Relationships. Children. Cooking. Cleaning. Relaxation. Exercise. Travel. They all require your time, energy and resources too.

It should come as no surprise that all of those inputs are finite. There are only 24 hours in a day. We don’t have unlimited energy and resources. There comes a time when all of the competing demands of work and life become too much, and we start to experience stress, which as we know impacts on our mental health and wellbeing.

Research into the mental health of dental practitioners found that one third of dentists and one quarter of other dental practitioners worked more than 40 hours per week. Because health professionals have a tendency to define themselves by their work, and their work provides them meaning, it becomes easy to slip into a pattern of long working hours. The problem is that it is not sustainable. Because that work drains our time, energy and resources, and leaves very little for our life. And it’s what we do away from work that is important in re-charging and re-energising our batteries.

“Working hard for something we don't care about is called stress: Working hard for something we love is called passion.”
― Simon Sinek

People often talk about work-life balance as having interests outside of work. And to a certain extent this is true. But the essence is making sure that your time, energy and resources are spread across your work and life. It’s not just about adding more life activities on top of already overburdened work hours. There is an opportunity to revisit your values – what gets you out of bed in the morning? What is it that sustains you at work? If you are feeling trapped in the day-to-day grind of work, and feeling burnt out, it’s important to rediscover what it is that got you excited about work in the first place.

It's also really important to recognise that a toxic work environment is draining, and no amount of balance will overcome that. We want to do work that provides us with meaning and nourishes our identity.

There is often a conflict between what we want to do and what we have to do. What we want to do is driven internally, and is linked to the purpose or meaning that we find in work. What we have to do is driven externally – these are the tasks that we have to do, but they don’t spark joy in the same way.

Our beliefs are tied to our identity, which creates a form of pride. People whose identity is strongly tied to their work face an existential crisis when their work-life balance is out of kilter – because they can’t fathom not doing that work. It is the core of their identity. So they feel trapped. That’s why an important part of work-life balance is having a second (and even third or fourth) identity. Something else that provides meaning.

There are some keys to work-life balance:

• Recognise that there is an imbalance between work and life

• Prioritise what is important to you. Ask yourself: What am I willing to sacrifice, and for how long? If I have been prioritising work over family, why do I feel that it is important? Is it really necessary? Is it really inevitable? Do I have any regrets about the time I allocate to my life? What will I regret if I continue along my current path?

• Most importantly, prioritise your health. If your work and life is out of balance, then the inevitable outcome is that your health will suffer.

• Make time for yourself and your loved ones. Spend more time with family and friends.

• Play the long game. No matter how important some aspect of work seems to you now, it’s important to put into perspective that you will likely be in the workforce for 40 years (or more). Is whatever you are doing now so important that it can’t wait until tomorrow? Or next week? Or next year? Life is a marathon, not a sprint.

• Set boundaries at work, and make your expectations clear. It’s not a sign of weakness to work fewer hours. Nor is it a badge of honour to always be the last one at work.

• Think about the fundamentals of wellbeing – sleep, exercise and healthy eating.

No-one at the end of their life ever wishes that they had spent more time at work. So don’t.